Sex Mantra

I miss the way the sun met the sky in the morning. Flirting with the lips of the horizon, kissing the skin of my face and legs; the smell of the grass at 8 a.m. and the way my childhood home smelled like syrup in the evenings.

I'm nostalgic about the traveling farmers market; my neighbors selling watermelon and sweet potatoes on the back of a flat bed truck. I get goosebumps remembering the atmosphere before it rained; the humidity, and the rise and fall of brown dirt beneath tires. I still smile when thinking about how horseback riding til sunset feels, how a ditch could turn into an ocean, and a promise could be kept like the family pet.

I miss the innocence, the Louisiana heat playing highway tricks on me. That mirage looks heaven sent, praying , 'God send me angel like the one my daddy has, one to keep me safe, one to keep me alive.'

I miss the sugarcane fields, sneaking out to meet the youngest Greene boy and get plowed in front our friends. I wasn't shy, I embodied the sultry slut classmates had accused me of being. The Bandeau in his backyard is a school house once you start giving brain. As if the T in my name moonlighted as tutor, we learned a lot about biology and sex organs.

I miss the Beetle-Bug, driving out to the 'Stones' to face a full bowl. Finding out that the Bessard boy's favorite flavor is popped cherry and I had done that for him. In my age now, I'd probably do it again. I'm a glutton for punishment and a sucker for moral-less men.

I miss the drive to get to me, the crashing of your moms car to meet up at the loft and eat my candy center. Then send you home to your momma because you did your job and did it well. Excuse me while I bring a new meaning to birthday sex, we share a name and only an hour between zodiacs.

I miss the mystique, a Budlight Margarita Bonfire and the Palmer boy just dropped his forearm against my leg. Did I say forearm? Yeah the length was crazy. I wonder if he knows my sexual imprint is rough and disrespectful, I wonder if he knows who owned that car...

I miss University, Hirae's not my shade but he can't hide who he belongs to any longer than I can hide my hunger. I get off, he gets off, we both get off and both get kicked out. I guess that was bound to happen. Upward thinking said we were safe, so we met again in Memphis when the Pelicans played the Grizzlies and we played with each other. I didn't understand why me under sheets got under her skin, I didn't care.

I miss the freedom, bed hopping with my best friend because we were screwing brothers and a king sized bed was wide enough for the four of us. The girl you should have married found better and I just found myself waiting for the next four inches that never appeared. Whew, I want my jacket back ... and my time.

I miss Louisiana Soul, can't believe it took me this long to see I've been trying to be whole for years. It'll be okay, I'm coming together piece by piece.

History says I've never had a hard time cumming at all.